Over the last couple of months there was some serious discussion about getting pregnant. I really want/wanted a fall baby so I knew I had to conceive before February for this to happen. So a plan was put into place to go to the doctor and get things ready to be a fertile Myrtle again. I was even trying to find a place to get a Rubella shot before things kicked off. (I'm not immune to Rubella for some reason and I've tried to get a shot ever since I had Tray but no one seems to have them.)
I was actually excited to have this baby because it was going to be our last and I was more than happy to have our family complete and be done with the pregnancy thing. So this week was supposed to be the week that I went to the doctor. Then something happened......
my children reminded me that I'm not ready to add another holy terror to the human race.
Last week was hell!!! I committed everything from telling Tray that he had to find a new mom because I didn't want to be his mom anymore, to locking myself in my room (and by locking I mean I sat in front of the door so my kids couldn't come it because we have no locks) and crying for a while, to contemplating running away.
SIDENOTE: What was the most sad about last week was that when I told Tray he had to find a new mom, he was kinda excited about it. He got himself completely dressed and sat on the couch waiting for me to take him to the "New Mom Store". He did finally realize that if he found a new mom that I wouldn't be his mom anymore and then he was upset.
I felt and acted like such a horrible parent I was really surprised that my neighbors didn't call DCFS on me. There was screaming and yelling and kids throwing things tantrums, potty accidents, crying, toy snatching and just all out hell.
So needless to say, if we ever do get the itch to have another child it won't be for some time. Aren't children great forms of birth control!
